I Was Born This Way
Saturday, 25 February 2012, ϟ 0 shout(s)
Assalamualaikum,
heyy, miss me ? alahaaii, rindu cakap je ah.. kita kena jujur kan? *ceeett.. perasan nak mampus aku..
smile while you still can
i have a story to share with you. A story about a young girl. *cehh,mudalah sangat kan?dasar minah tak sedar diri betul..LOL .
here, i want people around me to know about the REAL me. Maybe some of you doesn't know me that well. Actually i think non of you know me well. I never showed people the real me. Its not that I'm not being myself, its just what I'm hiding behind my nerdy face.
I'm just an ordinary girl who lived in her own world. I'm living in a Dark World that is full of Shadows. I don't do things that are beyond my control. I'm not those fucking hot girls. I'm just a nerdy school girl with braces and her own beauty inside :)
Sometimes I said things I don't mean too. When I'm angry or sad stupid word suddenly come out from my mouth. I'm so sorry for that.
Is it true I'm the Happy Girl? Well,actually I'm not. When I'm in front of my friends or family. I will smile and make them think I'm happy and I'm okay. The truth is I'm not okay. Everyday I have to put on my fake smile in school. I don't want people to know how hurt I am inside. I just can't take it anymore. I cried every night before I go to sleep. sad right? I know.
Is is true I'm lucky because I've got so many friends? You know what ? you are totally wrong. I don't feel lucky at all. I don't believe in people easily. I love them more than I love myself. I really do. Even though my friends around me are always the 'BACKSTABBER' and the 'FAKERS' ,but you know what.. I'm the stupid one. even though I knew they are like that.. I still love them and still want to be friends with them. I can't live without my friends.
Is it true I look Cool all the time? For your information, I look cool all the time like you guys said is because I wanted to cover my emotion. Behind my cool face, I am weird and fake. seriously . I'm not who you think I am guys. Is it true I'm a loving person? Actually, I'm not.. I always feel like I don't have enough love from everybody. I feel like I'm excluded all the time. I'm not a loving person but I always appreciated things.
Is it true I'm beautiful? The truth is I'm not beautiful like you said I am. I feel ugly. When my friends say soemthing like this 'Untunglah kau cantik' At that moment I started argue with them. I will say 'Kau lagi cantik tau' Friends, believe me . I mean what I said. You girls are more beautiful than me. I don't want you girls feel and think that you are not pretty. Every women in this world are so pretty. They have their own beauty.
when a girl said she is not pretty, she means it.
when a girl said she is bad,she means it
when a girls said she is not smart, she means it
when a girl said she is not happy,she means it
Korang tengok je aku macam ni, you know what sometimes i feel like to run away from home, runaway from all the problems. I always feel like everyone hates me and I hate it when everyone curse me. I wonder what I did wrong . I'm so disappointed when my friends stab me from the back when I'm really honest being friends with them and even people i don't like. I'm not the happy girl you see everyday.
What do I think about my self? I think I'm ugly,fat and have no friends. I think people secretly hate me and I put a brave face on all the time when I'm dying inside. I feel guilty easily and when I tried to fix it, things get even worst than before. When people ask me if I'm okay, I always say YES but what I really want them to do is lend me their shoulder so that I could cry my heart out on them. I hate myself and I hate who I am. I hate everything about me. Sometimes, I think I look half decent today, but that is normally ruined by some stuck up boy who swears his worth a billion pounds.
This is THE REAL ME.
Sometimes I said things I don't mean too. When I'm angry or sad stupid word suddenly come out from my mouth. I'm so sorry for that.
Is it true I'm the Happy Girl? Well,actually I'm not. When I'm in front of my friends or family. I will smile and make them think I'm happy and I'm okay. The truth is I'm not okay. Everyday I have to put on my fake smile in school. I don't want people to know how hurt I am inside. I just can't take it anymore. I cried every night before I go to sleep. sad right? I know.
Is is true I'm lucky because I've got so many friends? You know what ? you are totally wrong. I don't feel lucky at all. I don't believe in people easily. I love them more than I love myself. I really do. Even though my friends around me are always the 'BACKSTABBER' and the 'FAKERS' ,but you know what.. I'm the stupid one. even though I knew they are like that.. I still love them and still want to be friends with them. I can't live without my friends.
Is it true I look Cool all the time? For your information, I look cool all the time like you guys said is because I wanted to cover my emotion. Behind my cool face, I am weird and fake. seriously . I'm not who you think I am guys. Is it true I'm a loving person? Actually, I'm not.. I always feel like I don't have enough love from everybody. I feel like I'm excluded all the time. I'm not a loving person but I always appreciated things.
Is it true I'm beautiful? The truth is I'm not beautiful like you said I am. I feel ugly. When my friends say soemthing like this 'Untunglah kau cantik' At that moment I started argue with them. I will say 'Kau lagi cantik tau' Friends, believe me . I mean what I said. You girls are more beautiful than me. I don't want you girls feel and think that you are not pretty. Every women in this world are so pretty. They have their own beauty.
when a girl said she is not pretty, she means it.
when a girl said she is bad,she means it
when a girls said she is not smart, she means it
when a girl said she is not happy,she means it
Korang tengok je aku macam ni, you know what sometimes i feel like to run away from home, runaway from all the problems. I always feel like everyone hates me and I hate it when everyone curse me. I wonder what I did wrong . I'm so disappointed when my friends stab me from the back when I'm really honest being friends with them and even people i don't like. I'm not the happy girl you see everyday.
What do I think about my self? I think I'm ugly,fat and have no friends. I think people secretly hate me and I put a brave face on all the time when I'm dying inside. I feel guilty easily and when I tried to fix it, things get even worst than before. When people ask me if I'm okay, I always say YES but what I really want them to do is lend me their shoulder so that I could cry my heart out on them. I hate myself and I hate who I am. I hate everything about me. Sometimes, I think I look half decent today, but that is normally ruined by some stuck up boy who swears his worth a billion pounds.
This is THE REAL ME.
And I'm the girl who feels insecure all the time
new past